Getting started and exploring your options

Most mental health treatment services like therapy or medication management are paid for with insurance. Contact your insurance company to learn about what behavioral health treatment benefits are available to you and your child. Each insurance company has a list on its website, and there is also a number on the back of your insurance card where you can get help finding out about your child’s benefits.

Ask someone you trust. Some families prefer to see what help might be available at their child’s school, at the pediatrician’s office, or through a local community organization. Many times parents ask other parents about their experiences with local providers. It’s a good idea to make a list of a few options for support, because some might have a long wait or might not be a good fit. 

Some kids’ mental health organizations work with specific communities and cultures, like Black or Latinx families, or they can help with certain problems, like substance use or family violence. Look for ones that fit your family’s needs.

Here are a few questions that might be helpful to ask when you contact service providers:

1. Do you have expertise in treating children my child’s age?

2. Do you have experience treating my child’s symptoms?

3. Do you take my child’s insurance? How much will your services cost me?

4. What are the steps to access your services?

5. Is there a wait?

6. What is your approach to helping kids with their mental health?

7. How are parents and other family members involved in treatment? What are your expectations for parent involvement?

8. Will you work with my child’s other health care providers/school?

What should I look out for?

You are trying to get help for your child.  Finding and accessing mental health care and treatment is not always as easy as any of us would like it to be. We know that this is especially the case for communities of color, the LGBTQ+ community, and families with financial challenges, who are often unfairly labeled, dismissed, or blamed. Many people are working to establish a true system of behavioral health treatment, one with no-wrong-door to enter and real-time access, but it’s important to acknowledge that these challenges exist.

Mental health organizations are often under-resourced, without enough staff to address needs when they come up, which may lead to delays in accessing treatment. This is especially frustrating to parents when they are trying to find help for their child. What this means is that the system may not give you its best unless you demand its best. You may need to call more than once to get through to the right person. You may need to wait longer than you’d like for an appointment. You may need to say, ‘Slow down, that doesn’t make sense to me.’ You may need to say, ‘This isn’t working for my child, what other options are there?’

What you need to know is that you have a right to ask questions, ask for options, and push for care that works well for your family. These organizations exist to help your child. Your role as a parent is to make your and your child’s needs clear.

What types of mental health professionals will I meet?

People working in mental health can have many different types of degrees, and might use different approaches. Here are some of the most common types:

Licensed Social Workers & Mental Health Counselors

Licensed social workers and mental health counselors are trained to make diagnoses and can provide individual, family, and/or group therapy. They may also help with coordinating care with other people in your child and family’s life like their teacher or pediatrician.

Pro: They have been trained to provide therapy and some will help your family with other issues too, like finding stable housing or food.

Con: They can’t prescribe medications and usually don’t perform testing to diagnose problems.

Psychologists

Psychologists have advanced degrees and are trained to make diagnoses, and to provide individual, family and/or group therapy or counseling.

Pro: Psychologists have years of training and can provide individual, family and/or group therapy. Many psychologists can perform psychological testing to help clarify a diagnosis or problem like a learning disability. 

Con: Psychologists cannot prescribe medication in most states, including Massachusetts.

Family Partners

Family partners have their own lived experience parenting a child with a mental health challenge. They have ‘been there’ and are great mentors to guide parents who might be just starting on their journey.

Pro: Family partners have usually been through something similar, and therefore might be able to understand what you are going through more directly.

Con: In some cases, family partners might have less ‘formal’ training than other professionals, but many do have training and also draw on their own, powerful lived experiences. Family partners cannot prescribe medication.

Psychiatrists

Psychiatrists are medical doctors with special training in the diagnosis of mental and emotional illnesses.

Pro: Psychiatrists have medical degrees, so they can prescribe medication, if you both agree that is the right treatment for your child. They can also help you tease out an accurate diagnosis for your child.

Con: It can be hard to get an appointment with a child psychiatrist. There are just fewer of them around than other mental health professionals. If you feel like your child might need medication to help them manage their feelings or behaviors, you might want to start with your pediatrician to see if they can help. Psychiatrists typically don’t offer psychotherapy (counseling) because their time is limited.

What words might they use when talking about what’s going on with my child?

Professionals use these words all the time and sometimes don’t take the time to explain them to parents. You should always feel like you can ask them to clarify, but if you want a head start, these are some common words you might hear:

Mental Health

Mental health refers to our wellbeing and includes how we feel emotionally, psychologically and in our relationships with other people. Lots of things can influence our mental health: our genes, the chemicals in our brains, and life experiences (like experiencing violence or losing a loved one).

Mental health problems in kids are common—as many as 1 in 6 children have a mental health condition—and can often be treated successfully.

Anxiety

Anxiety refers to when kids react very quickly or strongly to situations that feel scary to them—like new situations or experiences—or when they have a hard time getting their anxious feelings under control. They might also find the world scarier or more dangerous than other kids.

Most kids feel scared or anxious sometimes, but they often learn to cope with fears and worries. Anxiety becomes a problem when it gets in the way of kids doing things, or when it feels out of proportion to the problems they are facing.

Depression

Depression often comes with feeling sad or down, but it is more than just being sad. Depression can make kids irritable and feel like nothing is worthwhile, or that things will never get better. It can get in the way of kids enjoying the things they usually like to do.

Attention Deficit or Hyperactivity

Attention deficit disorder (ADD) or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) makes it hard for kids to stop their spontaneous responses - so they might move or talk when they ‘shouldn’t’ or might have trouble focusing.

All kids occasionally get fidgety, act without thinking, or forget to do things. Kids with ADHD might have more trouble with these issues than other kids.

Trauma

When kids experience traumatic events, like witnessing violence or being abused, they can have strong emotions and physical reactions that last for a long time after the event. They may feel scared and helpless, have difficulty sleeping and eating, forming relationships, or many other issues.

Grief and Loss

Kids feel grief when they lose a loved one, just like adults. But because kids understand death differently, they also might react differently. Some kids might get quiet and withdrawn, while others might express their feelings by acting out.

What types of help could they suggest?

Just like other times when your child isn’t feeling well, a professional might recommend a treatment to help them feel better. Here are some common ones.

Therapy

Therapy is about talking about feelings and exploring the emotions beneath behaviors. It can be done many ways, including with your child, on their own, in groups with other kids, or with the whole family.

Pro: Therapy can help many kids, and has very few side effects.

Con: In some cases, therapy can take longer to help than some medications, and therapy alone may not work for all mental health problems.

Medication

Medication options are out there for the treatment of mental health issues like depression, anxiety and ADHD. It is best used in combination with therapy.

Pro: Medication might help to treat some symptoms of mental health issues in kids.

Con: Every medication comes with risks and side effects, and they might not work for every kid.

Peer Support

Peers can provide support and share what they have been through. Both parents and kids can get a lot from peer groups.

Pro: Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can be really helpful because it helps us understand that we are not alone.

Con: Some peer support programs use group sessions or home visits, which might not work for every parent. It’s important to find a program that works for you and a professional that you feel comfortable with.

Intensive Home and Community-Based Services

Intensive home and community-based services can assist your family with many needs, including help with housing, family therapy, education and coordinating your child’s treatment.

Pro: Many community services can be provided in your home and at times that are convenient for you. Some have a focus on specific cultures, like Black or Latinx families, and can help families with challenges beyond their child’s behavior or feelings.

Con: Some community services require more time and energy from families—but the returns can be big. Ask how they approach working with families to see if it’s a good fit for you.

Alternative & Complementary Medicine

Treatments outside of mainstream, Western medicine, like dietary supplements or acupuncture, are commonly used by many people.

Pro: If these treatments make someone feel good, they can encourage positive thinking, which can help improve mental health challenges.

Con: Many of these treatments have not been studied well by scientists, so we don’t know if they work, or what the risks might be—especially for kids. It’s a good idea to check with a professional about these treatments.

Tools at Home

Kids and parents can try new behaviors and tools at home, like meditation or exercise. Check out some of our tools here.

Pro: Trying new approaches can have a big effect on your entire family, not only your child that you are concerned about. Reducing everyone’s stress and improving communication will have benefits for the whole family.

Con: These tools require you to learn new skills and to practice them consistently to get good at them - just like anything new that you try! This can mean more work when you are already busy, but they can also reduce fights and stress in the long run.